What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say…

For once, let’s not be too serious…:

Check this camera’s dynamic range. (Technology will compensate for my inability to get an accurate exposure on my own.)

What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say...

I’m a street photographer. (Tried portraits, landscape, sports, still life, but it’s so much easier to just shoot strangers and stuff.)

Honey, where are my umbrellas? (Bounce and shoot-through, silly, who cares about rain!)

You think a car is cheap? (My camera cost more than a car, so be it, and I better be thinking about a backup, just in case.)

Real photographers shoot film. (My mom’s a virgin).

Film is better. (I just don’t understand this technology.)

A smartphone is no camera. (And I thought apps improve my photography.)

I’m a fine art photographer. (Can’t get commercial jobs.)

What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say...

I work too much, haven’t enjoyed a decent holiday for a long time. (I spend all money on gear.)

Photography is freedom. I don’t believe in rules. (I never bothered to learn the rules.)

Photos looks so much better on a Retina display. (My prints look like shit.)

Trust me, peanuts. (I have no clue or any specific direction to give, just get in front of the camera and we’ll wing it.)

I prefer natural light. (I’ve never learned how to use artificial lighting.)

There’s not enough natural light. (I still didn’t learn how to use artificial lighting.)

What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say...

That’s not photography anymore. (I really should know Photoshop.)

I can very well recommend you a camera: (Promise you don’t fall asleep.)

I hate diving. (Can’t afford an underwater housing).

No problem, just give me your email and I’ll send you the photos. (Your POS camera sucks, here’s how I do it.)

I love plain walls. (Why pay extra for a backdrop.)

Plain walls inspire me, make me want to fill them with my photographs. (Can’t decide which ones to hang where.)

What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say...

That’s a microfiber T-shirt. (That, my friend, is wearable lens cloth.)

I’m a morning person really, evenings are even lovelier. (Bright daylight sucks.)

This food is terrible. (Hate this place, can’t even take food pictures in this light.)

This is no Gucci. (I spend more money on bags than my partner.)

I don’t date beautiful women. (I thought she was sleeping.)

Gray’s my favorite color. (Just imagine a perfect color-neutral world.)

I spend more time shooting than reading forums. (n/t)

What Photographers Actually Mean When They Say...

But I was looking at her camera! (n/t)

It’s a Leica. (It’s a Panasonic.)

Me, obsessed?! (If you’d know what I really love doing…)

Sorry ’bout that, it’s the camera. (Skill in photography is acquired by purchase and not by practice.)

Just window shopping. (n/t)

What a beautiful child. (n/t)

I’m a photographer. (Darn GAS.)

I need… (I want…)

Got any more photographer quotes?

(inspired by Resource Magazine and Ming Thein)